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 Re Write your woes and troubles here

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muse

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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:48 am

Thank you for your wishes guys. You are all so lovely. I hope you don't mind if I have a little bit of a selfish rant here. it might not make much sense but I need to write. I hate bipolar. I confuse myself so much sometimes. I cannot stop what I do or feel and I just wish I were 'normal'. Most days I am fine. Some weeks I am manic..other times I am very confused/destructive/depressed. I ruin things and push people away and I really don't mean to. I am aware I am doing it and I tell myself to stop..but I cannot. I am awful at relationships..this is why. Nothing has happened particularly to bring this on (in terms of the girl I was tlaking about earlier, I mean)..I am just a fool for liking people because I NEVER get what I want back. Yesterday I was positive..but why? I don't know. I am fretting. I am anxious..confused..tired..all the bad things. I do hate my brain and its chemicals sometimes. I change in an instant from so happy to whatever the mood may be. It sucks. It is hard - yes, everybody has issues and things to deal with - but I just HATE this so much. I HATE my mental health. Would love to just have depression or better still, NO mental problems. Then I wouldn't take meds..or would just take one lot of meds for depression. But no..I have to have to go the whole hog and be born with stupid fat imbalances everywhere to give me bipolar. I spend money I don't have when manic. I do stupid things..and say even stupider things when manic. I cause situations when manic. I CANNOT STOP!! When depressed I just sleep..that is it. Mania is said to be the good part of bipolar - yeah, I disagree with that so much. I hate it. I hate it all. I don't know how I can achieve all my dreams and goals in life when this plays such a big part in who I am. It ruins so much. Especially relationships. I am freaking out. This is what happens. Jess is 12 years younger than me and so gorgeous..and then there is me. I love myself but hate myself too (contradiction AGAIN)..so why would she want me?? She tells me to go have fun and we will get to know each other. What does THAT mean? Pft.. What WOULD she see in me? What would anyone. I will seriously ruin this..just like the many before. I don't mean to..it just happens. Stupid freak outs. I really hate them. Sometimes life is just too hard, isn't it? Mental health sucks.
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muse

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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 2:19 pm

Big wibble last night..but hopefully passed. Sorry for the rant xx
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twisted dream

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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 3:09 pm

you dont need to apologise for the rant muse. i know how hard it is tyring to get things done when your moods change for no reason and it messes you up so much you cant cope and just want it to stop. your not alone even though it feels like it when you get like that. and from what you have told me she seems to want to get to know every part of you even the bad parts because she likes you for you. you know if you need to let some steam off you can do it on here or talk to one of us. trust me there are lots of people who say you can talk but i know what its like when your like that. you just cant talk to them. but please try. you will feel better instead of bottling it up. believe me on that one. it can make you sick inside. i hope you feel better soon. xxxxxxx
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Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 4:38 pm

Hi Muse, Ry's right if you can't let off steam/rant to your friend who can you rant to we all struggle with our own demons from time to time and you are no different remeber your ghostie friends are here for you drunken
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muse

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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 5:17 pm

Aww..I love my ghostie friends. Thank you Smile x
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Fusecienne
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 09, 2009 11:46 pm

hey vicks,

You know i'm always here when you need me! woudn't say i'm that fab at giving advice (you probably know that already! ) but i am good at listening, always ready for an earbashing if you need to give one! xx
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tots
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Fri Jul 10, 2009 12:18 am

Hey Muse. We are always here for you to have a rant to. Goodness knows I have done it more than once. Sometimes it helps to just type words on a screen, other times we need people there for us. Try and smile once in a while and remember we are here for ya!



My turn for a rant................ IM SO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

End of rant. Chin up everyone! Smile
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Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Fri Jul 10, 2009 3:50 pm

Oh tots, don't worry your light is at the end of the tunnel and fingers crossed on the 31st you will get your keys and be in your own home where you will be able to sleeo in peace and not have to walk in a wet bathroom (hee hee) and get your pj's wet!!!

Try eating lettuce before you go to bed it is suppose to be a natural remedy for helping you to sleep - don't know if it works but it might be worth a try....... you can report back!!!!
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tots
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Sat Jul 11, 2009 8:41 pm

Does the lettuce before bed count if its in a sarnie with salad cream and salt?? lol


Im mad. MAD mad mad. Bordering on having a fight mad. So mad im shaking and am having to calm down on my own mad. I despise my sister. She is a theiving ... there are no non-swearwords to describe what else she is, and if she comes home before I calm down I will blow, at her. Angry is too mild a word for how im feeling at the minute, and if I hadnt just had a shower and washed my hair ( the reason WHY im so mad... discovered she had used without asking AND finished my expensive conditioner, AND she has her own, and I had also already let go the fact that she has used it before and pinched my shave gel and FINISHED it before I had even used it-god knows what for) I would clear off back to my mums other house and decorate it untill I dropped ( which Im close to doing anyway)



AAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry guys. Mad Mad Mad Mad
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Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Sun Jul 12, 2009 9:35 pm

oh dear tots remember to breath ..... well you can't have killed her as i have not heard anything on the radio or the TV so yo must have calmed down a little and remeber its not long now till you get rid of her and have your own space again and if that don't work then i canrecommend holding them over the top of the stairs by their t shirt and threntening to throw them head first down the stairs if they don't leave you alone.....funny my sister never tried to hit me or steel any of my stuff after that
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twisted dream

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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Sun Jul 12, 2009 10:31 pm

i am tired of getting angry and annoyed alot. it is a horrible feeling and when i calm down i feel even worse. ive been like it today and i hope this week goes ok for me as im sick of feeling like this Sad
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tots
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Sun Jul 12, 2009 11:56 pm

Lol Nina. I would try the holding over the stairs bit, but im afraid I would "accidently" drop her on purpose. I have therefore decided never to speak to or aknowledge her ever again. I could attack her whenever Im in the same room as her so I need to pretend shes not there.

Ry, I know how you feel a little bit. Its not very nice feeling angry and annoyed all the time. Hope it changes for you this week. sunny
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KT
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:19 pm

I've got the pdoc today Crying or Very sad
talk about crapping myself
fed up with having panic attacks
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Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 13, 2009 1:56 pm

mmmm Tots i know that feeling well i had my dad at the bottom of the stairs telling me that i did'nt really want to drop my sister down the stairs head first took him about 10mins to convince me that it was'nt worth it when i let go she had to crawl face first to the bottom of the stairs when my dad got hold of her he gave her a wallop and then wehen she went into the kitchen to moan at my mum, my mum smacked her too - -that did make me feel a little better!!!!! we were 18 (me) 9 (her) at the time now adays i would do what your doing and pretend that she does not exsist......but keep breathing and counting to 10 just incase sunny sunny

and KT good luck at the Pdoc today sunny
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crazycow
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 13, 2009 2:41 pm

Life throws a lot of poo at you but you gotta keep smiling coz theres always someone worse off than yourself Smile
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beefy-beercan
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 13, 2009 4:51 pm

lifes a bitch Sad then if you marry one it gets worse No
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 13, 2009 5:11 pm

I've just had areally uncomfortable shift.... my one of my colleagues wanted to swap shifts with me on sat, i said yes but my manger said no... so I get the silent treatment!!! how does thet work???? Mad
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KT
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Tue Jul 14, 2009 5:15 pm

Nina wrote:

and KT good luck at the Pdoc today sunny

Thanks Hun

Fingers crossed, it'll be sorted out soon! bounce
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Nina
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Wed Jul 15, 2009 2:42 pm

Just try and stay positive KT and remeber we are here if you need to talk Smile
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Thu Jul 16, 2009 9:34 pm

when you are feeling low it can be really hard to get out of it, take each day as it comes and deal with 1 issue at a time - might take longer but your more likely to be successful - i know that from experience. good luck everyone and keep your chins up.
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tots
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Fri Jul 17, 2009 12:36 am

What cacky weather we have coming Crying or Very sad
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madmaz
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Fri Jul 17, 2009 9:52 am

why do ppl have to live soooo far away......

Sad
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 20, 2009 4:33 pm

im feeling run down today. plus the horrible comments from my mum about me being jobless doesnt help. it just makes me feel like even more of a failure and dissapointment.
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 20, 2009 8:06 pm

hey you, mr ry now listen to me don't take any notice of what people say your mum was probably just having a bad day and needed to take it out on someone, you being the only one!! see when yve got 4 kids they all get a turn dont let it get you down listen to your other mum and the majority WE LUV YA just the way you are xxxxxxxxxxxx so cheer up!!!! x
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:09 pm

Hey Ry, at least your trying to find work, there are 100's of peeps who aren't even bothering . Try not to let it get to you,(easy to say, i know) i'm sure your mum's just frustrated on your behalf and wishes she could do something to help you.

We're all on your side Very Happy lol! flower
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pogo
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Mon Jul 20, 2009 9:39 pm

i agree with fran - good luck with the job hunting.
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crazycow
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Tue Jul 21, 2009 12:54 pm

Chin up Ry Wink

Theres soooo many people in the same boat babe. Keep trying!
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tots
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Tue Jul 21, 2009 8:40 pm

Mad Mad Crying or Very sad Mad Crying or Very sad Mad Crying or Very sad Mad Mad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Crying or Very sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Sad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad Mad


No words, just them ^^^^^^^
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Wed Jul 22, 2009 5:27 pm

Actions speak louder than words dear!!!!

Breathe honey!
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PostSubject: Re: Re Write your woes and troubles here   Sat Jul 25, 2009 8:12 pm

Im feeling a bit fed up today Crying or Very sad
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